I made this because it’s true.
I can’t believe I made this.
People pay me to talk about productivity.
![If I lived how my son lives:
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: [stares at cop]
Cop: Sir?
Me: [shrugs]
Cop: You were going 95, sir.
Me: Do you know what my favorite cookie is?
Cop: …licence and registration, please.
Me: I don’t know where it is.
Cop: Is this your car?
Me: It’s still my turn. I had a short turn.
Cop: Sir, I need you to step out of the vehicle.
Me: [stares at cop]
Cop: SIR. Get out of the car.
Me: [gets out] [falls on ground] I’m a strawberry.
Cop: I’m going to need to take you with me.
Me: How many bites until I can get out?](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxrojaHOW91qzsbdto1_500.jpg)
If I lived how my son lives:
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: [stares at cop]
Cop: Sir?
Me: [shrugs]
Cop: You were going 95, sir.
Me: Do you know what my favorite cookie is?
Cop: …licence and registration, please.
Me: I don’t know where it is.
Cop: Is this your car?
Me: It’s still my turn. I had a short turn.
Cop: Sir, I need you to step out of the vehicle.
Me: [stares at cop]
Cop: SIR. Get out of the car.
Me: [gets out] [falls on ground] I’m a strawberry.
Cop: I’m going to need to take you with me.
Me: How many bites until I can get out?
Just try it.
Try running away from home.
Just for like a year.
Just to see if you’ll actually die.
Don’t be such a pussy.
(Image found at Westword)
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