Words with Sons Last Night
Him: Can I sleep in your bed tonight?
Me: What’s up?
Him: I’m just afraid of zombies.
Me: Zombies, huh?
Him: They’re creepy.
Me: Are you worried they’re real?
Me: Well. I have good news. They aren’t. Know how you can tell?
Him: [shakes head]
Me: Because I’m not afraid of them. If zombies were real, I would never sleep here. Look at that window. They would come right through there. And that door would be made of thick metal with a million chains and locks on it. And I would have swords all over the house to fight them. And in the car. And I would never take you outside or to the park. And neither would anyone else. We would all be afraid the zombies would get us. But here we are, going around doing things like zombies aren’t real. Because they’re not.
Him: Oh yeah. It’s weird that I thought they were real. [laughs]
Me: No it isn’t, buddy. It’s good to think about these things and figure them out.
Him: Plus you don’t have any plants to fight zombies.