Earlier today, a cop stopped by to ask if I knew anything about some packages that had disappeared from neighbors’ porches.

I told him I didn’t, as I stood on my patio surrounded by empy cardboard boxes from supply places and Toys (backwards R) Us.

It’s bad enough when your brain is like REALLY QUICK ACT LIKE IT WASN’T YOU

Then like BUT I DON’T HAVE TO ACT BECAUSE IT WASN’T ME

Then like JUST SAY THINGS SOMEONE WOULD SAY IF IT WASN’T THEM

Then like YEAH I KNOW BECAUSE IT WASN’T

Then like MAKE A MORE INNOCENT FACE

Then like NO NOT THAT FACE HE WILL THINK YOU ARE FLIRTING

Then like ASK HIM INSIDE FOR TEA

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  7. rindesyu reblogged this from luckyshirt and added:
    This happens to me a lot. And yes I mean when cops ask me if I stole something.
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