I went to the observatory a couple months ago, and saw a show in the planetarium.
In that show, the narrator started talking about how oh by the way the sun is dying. Because that’s how shit goes, kittens. Energy moves around, chaos and decay rule the world and everything around it.
The sun. Is dying.
Which of course means that one day, all of this will be gone. Everything we know.
Which of course means that nothing you ever do will last forever, or matter infinitely.
I had thought about this before, and never cared. Because I was young and lived nachos to nachos.
But this time I cared. It struck me how unimportant everything is. How tiny my life is. How close I am to not even existing at all.
And I left that show and stood out on the roof looking over Los Angeles. And I wondered what, then, mattered at all about my life.
And what I decided was this:
I am here to make things and love people.
Because the things I make let me love this life in the way I was made to love it.
And love is the only thing that stands when everything else falls or fails or decays or dies or burns out.
And all of this makes me way happier than sad.
Because hell, I can do that.
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