I’m not actually drunk, monkeys.

And that’s good news.

I’m not even through week one of living alone.

It’s been tough, and I’ve ended up going out every single night so far to avoid sitting at home alone.

But I just wanted to be around people, not drink. I only drank to have something in front of me and not sit there looking like I only came there to not lay on an air mattress mentally replaying the last few months of my life in high definition.

I’ve never been a heavy drinker, and those of you who have seen me drink know it just makes me a laughing, dopey, hugging idiot. I don’t use alcohol in a way that hurts myself or anyone else.

But I can see how this type of thing really finishes some people off. It’s exhausting. Coping with loss is rarely easy, and this is that.

So tonight goes in the win column. I’m staying positive, and I get the kids tomorrow for 4 days. I folded and went to see them every day except yesterday, but I still can’t wait for this weekend. I’m taking them to an aquarium for the first time, and it’s going to be awesome.

So yeah: I got this.