I just started watching Louie. I’m one episode deep in it. Not balls deep yet. I think balls are like episode 10. Right now the depth is just a thought or an idea. There hasn’t really been any contact of any sort yet. We just met on the internet.

And every last one of you jackhammers are on my list for not telling me that Louis C.K. is also a single dad.

I had no idea. And how would I? He’s not on cereal boxes or in My Neighbor Totoro. I have never even seen his stand-up. Just subtitled pictures of him on tumblr. I don’t watch things. I make lunches. That’s all I ever do. I make lunches. That’s how Lunchables™ still exist. It’s how people are able to convince themselves that it’s somehow okay to send their kids to school with a box of crackers and cheese-shaped plastic and meat-shaped plastic. Single parents keep that craproduct on the shelves because we’re quitters. Because sometimes we decide it’s time to put the mayonnaise down and maybe sleep or take a shower or stop crying.

And now I know there is a show out there that is hilarious and about me but if I was totally rich and in New York and funny. That first episode was very funny. I can’t wait until the kids are in college so I can see episode two and get eye contact deep. Just kidding I’m on my way to Costco to buy a Costco of Lunchables™. Just kidding I’m too busy making a lunch to go to Costco.

(picture from here)