Step 305: Do not listen to random angry anonymous internet strangers
Here is the thing about making anything for public consumption: Some people will like it, some people will dislike it, and some people will be so so confusingly furious at you for even existing.
The first category is the people you should be focusing on and making things for.
The second category will sometimes have valid criticism; when they do, listen to them. But don’t get too hurt or caught up on their dislike of what you make — you don’t like everything other people like, after all.
The third category is absolutely useless and you need to ignore them. Seriously. Do not read what they say. Go do something else, something fun, something that doesn’t even involve the internet, maybe.
This post brought to you by the wonderful commentariat of Yahoo! News.
ASTERISK: People will be much angrier at you for existing if you are a young, attractive, confident woman who is also succeeding.
I find my brain is overly engaged by shitty reactions and underengaged by great ones. But likely the reactions to your work from other cool people with their own good work are going to be far more positive than the reactions from shitballs who’ve never done something you like.
If you made the mistake of reading a shitball comment, go look at praise you’ve gotten from someone you know is definitely cooler than the shitball. Don’t be afraid to wrap yourself in smug self-satisfaction; a shitty reaction is like a sunburn, and you need to drown that thing in lotion. Shitty reactions are not a good inspiration to self-edit. Only good-faith critical reactions can help with that.
What interests me most about this very real phenomenon is how it has ultimately stripped from me of any fuck I had to give about what people say. Whether it’s over a rant about food or a drawing of a koala, some jackass will find something in what I put out there that makes them genuinely or artificially hate me, then tell everyone within earshot as much. It used to get under my skin, but after years of being battered by this nonsense, I’ve built up a tolerance and ultimately an immunity to it. To the point where it has almost made me an overconfident dick.
Which really makes sense, considering I am amazing as shit.
Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - Missing Yellow Signs
Source: SoundCloud / Polyvinyl Records
Unsolicited Mid-morning Advice:
When I was a kid, I was at my friend Andy’s house playing some spaceship video game. It was gorgeous and impossible, and I stayed up all night swearing whatever words I knew at 12 years old and hating and loving every moment.
The next day, our friend Dave came over. Dave knew a cheat code for the game that made you invincible.
I was ecstatic. I punched in whatever the code was (it wasn’t Gradius, nerds) and set out to kick some alien ass.
It was amazing. I could do whatever I wanted and had all the power-ups and nothing could hurt me. And by the second level, I was bored as hell.
I never even finished the game.
The game was fun because it was challenging. Which gave me a sense of accomplishment and that shot of smack straight into my spinal cord for overcoming whatever crazy Japanese nonsense they threw at me.
This is why role-playing games are so popular. The long boring periods of hacking away at bushes that have teeth or some nonsense to get enough gold to buy a sword that was better at killing toothbushes creates a cycle of clearly intangible reward, but a repeated sense of accomplishment.
Life is like that. We work to get money to get stuff. Mostly.
Which is why I believe money truly can ruin everything.
Getting a bunch of money can be a lot like getting an invincibility code for life. All the joy is suddenly sucked out of the grinding you were doing to get ahead, and now you’re just a person with money spending it on 12-dollar coffees looking for yourself and your purpose.
I’ve seen it happen too many times. Look at what it does to celebrities. I’ve even seen it happen to friends.
So many of us are chasing that dollar and envy the rich. Don’t.
Make what you need to get by. Live simply. Own as few things as you can. Try to focus on how true it is that your not-dead body is enough.
I know. It’s something you hear all the time, that your health is all that matters. But it’s the kind of thing you won’t be ready to accept until you’re ready to accept it.
This has been the last few years of my life, and I have never been happier.
Q:Don't hold on to anything? What a bunch of bullshit. I hope you don't feel that way about your kids. I'm guessing you don't, but are incapable of extending that love to an adult human being. It's selfish and childish.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the last anonymous ask I ever allowed on tumblr, brought to you by a person who believes hurling half-formed nonsense at strangers over a wall of anonymity and clinging desperately to things over which you have no control are milestones on the high road of adulthood.
This is most of what comes through this feature.
Which I have happily disabled now.
My daughter just texted me to ask if she can add a boy from her class to her iPod contacts for texting.
You all have about 15 minutes to hug your loved ones goodbye before I destroy the planet.
Dunkin’ Donuts are not donuts.
They are cake hoops.
And fuck cake hoops. Your sign says donuts.
Donuts are fried and way worse for you and better.
I’m sorry, almost all of America.
I just couldn’t keep silent anymore.